There’s a theory that the world is as weird as it is because we’ve had to have so many weird coincidences happen in order to not be annihilated since the advent of the atom bomb. With the way things are going right now, I’m guessing that either we’ll be seeing a time traveler become the new benevolent world emperor or it will turn out Trump and Clinton are both time agents sent by the future under the logic that literally anything would have been better than the disaster that was President UltraCheney.
The story is absolutely true. And it is also almost not impossible to want to right wrongs once you can get that Time Scooter from the local Amazon-Mart store hovering nearby… but the Time Police have also figured out how to be there that one moment before you decide to buy one and give you the pamphlet and pre-time-warning to not do it. So as they say in the future – Don’t past the time, be the Time! Yeah, it doesn’t make sense in the future either.
Great stories! Just what I needed to distract myself from an engine that needs disassembling.
What really scares me is all the times someone DID attempt to assassinate Hitler and he just barely escaped. Are those just the Time Police being sloppy?
There is one more where it turns out there was someone far far worse [I think it was an investment banker] but the time travelers got rid of him and Hitler [vegan so-so painter] was the one who ended up in the job instead.
I am firmly of the belief that, if someone were ever to go back in time to prevent a crisis (the Civil War, Hitler’s rise to power, 9/11, you name it), something even worse would inevitably happen as an indirect result of said interference.
So basically, when the apocalypse happens, I’ll blame it on a time traveler.
Can you imagine; you go back in time and kill the 9/11 conspirators before they can put their plan into action, but you get caught and arrested for murder.
You’re in jail for life, but you know that you saved so many people.
So…lemme get this straight…Geordi LaForge becomes a time traveler and goes through time on a time scooter righting what once went wrong? Oh, boy!
(and yes, everyone kills Hitler on their first trip…but let’s think about this for a moment. Aren’t there OTHER bad guys who killed a bunch of people that need time-traveler-killers after them?
Pol Pot comes to mind. Idi Amin, too. Ghengis Khan is also sort of high on that list, methinks. Also…P.S. I’m not saying Hitler wasn’t a bad dude. He was definitely a horrible, horrible person. I’m just saying there have been a lot of them.
A LOT! Time travelers probably just started way back when and haven’t worked their way up to Hitler yet.)
Actually, Hitler had developed excellent Kung-Fu abilities to defend himself from all the attempted assassinations from Time Travellers. Same goes for all of history’s monsters. Every time someone tries to kill them, they just get more practice for their already monstrous skills at martial arts.
Problem with killing Ghengis Khan is you’d put a huge dent in mainland Asia’s current population. There are a LOT of people descended from him. Not to mention he did pioneer the concept of ambassadors as we know them today. A lot more than you can say about people like Pol Pot and Hitler, anyway.
Hitler is actually from 2133, but goes back in time to 1933 to take over Germany because, to him, it is so much easier with his advanced tech and know-how.
and them having colour TV, radar, working jet engines, rockets
and torpedoes that worked.
[yeah US torpedo tech is used in a lot of textbooks for quality management as a case study]
There’s a theory that the world is as weird as it is because we’ve had to have so many weird coincidences happen in order to not be annihilated since the advent of the atom bomb. With the way things are going right now, I’m guessing that either we’ll be seeing a time traveler become the new benevolent world emperor or it will turn out Trump and Clinton are both time agents sent by the future under the logic that literally anything would have been better than the disaster that was President UltraCheney.
“Just remember, everybody kills Hitler on their first trip”.
Best time travel short story. Ever. http://www.tor.com/2011/08/31/wikihistory/
The story is absolutely true. And it is also almost not impossible to want to right wrongs once you can get that Time Scooter from the local Amazon-Mart store hovering nearby… but the Time Police have also figured out how to be there that one moment before you decide to buy one and give you the pamphlet and pre-time-warning to not do it. So as they say in the future – Don’t past the time, be the Time! Yeah, it doesn’t make sense in the future either.
Thanks for linking to that story, Lancinator! Loved it!
If you liked that, try this. Scalzi was great when he wrote “Old Man’s War”. This one by him makes me howl every time. https://subterraneanpress.com/magazine/winter_2007/fiction_missives_from_possible_futures_1_alternate_history_search_results_b
Great stories! Just what I needed to distract myself from an engine that needs disassembling.
What really scares me is all the times someone DID attempt to assassinate Hitler and he just barely escaped. Are those just the Time Police being sloppy?
At the risk of beating an old thread to death, here’s SMBC’s look at the Hitler assassination issue. http://www.smbc-comics.com/?id=3266
There is one more where it turns out there was someone far far worse [I think it was an investment banker] but the time travelers got rid of him and Hitler [vegan so-so painter] was the one who ended up in the job instead.
I am firmly of the belief that, if someone were ever to go back in time to prevent a crisis (the Civil War, Hitler’s rise to power, 9/11, you name it), something even worse would inevitably happen as an indirect result of said interference.
So basically, when the apocalypse happens, I’ll blame it on a time traveler.
Can you imagine; you go back in time and kill the 9/11 conspirators before they can put their plan into action, but you get caught and arrested for murder.
You’re in jail for life, but you know that you saved so many people.
Why kill them yourself when you can just have them deported under drug trafficking charges.
So…lemme get this straight…Geordi LaForge becomes a time traveler and goes through time on a time scooter righting what once went wrong? Oh, boy!
(and yes, everyone kills Hitler on their first trip…but let’s think about this for a moment. Aren’t there OTHER bad guys who killed a bunch of people that need time-traveler-killers after them?
Pol Pot comes to mind. Idi Amin, too. Ghengis Khan is also sort of high on that list, methinks. Also…P.S. I’m not saying Hitler wasn’t a bad dude. He was definitely a horrible, horrible person. I’m just saying there have been a lot of them.
A LOT! Time travelers probably just started way back when and haven’t worked their way up to Hitler yet.)
Actually, Hitler had developed excellent Kung-Fu abilities to defend himself from all the attempted assassinations from Time Travellers. Same goes for all of history’s monsters. Every time someone tries to kill them, they just get more practice for their already monstrous skills at martial arts.
That’s not Geordi LaForge, he’d never wear a cape. That is clearly Hollywood Montrose, Meshach Taylor’s character from 1987’s Mannequin.
Read the story Lancinator linked to. That was their point also!
Problem with killing Ghengis Khan is you’d put a huge dent in mainland Asia’s current population. There are a LOT of people descended from him. Not to mention he did pioneer the concept of ambassadors as we know them today. A lot more than you can say about people like Pol Pot and Hitler, anyway.
Plus he dealt with a lot of entrenched regional issues like the Assa problem.
Or maybe it’s the bad guys in the future sending time-travelers back to mess things up for us.
Hitler is actually from 2133, but goes back in time to 1933 to take over Germany because, to him, it is so much easier with his advanced tech and know-how.
Well that certainly explains Hydra…
and them having colour TV, radar, working jet engines, rockets
and torpedoes that worked.
[yeah US torpedo tech is used in a lot of textbooks for quality management as a case study]
If a time traveler doesn’t come back in time to try and stop you. It can’t be that bad of an idea.
The usual theory is that whatever happened back then was so horrible, letting Hitler rise to power was actually the better option.
Hey, that was supposed to be a reply.
There’s also the one that without WWII the time machine wouldn’t be invented.
And if the time machine is never invented, then you’ll never run into the Morlocks.
My favourite part of this has to be the time scooter!
Is the whisper of nutmeg a reference to Frasier? I feel like it is.