Yeah… the highest-trained pre-hospital personnel in the United States are paramedics, and I’ve been taking a class. The way paramedics rescue choking infants is … five two-fingered chest thrusts, followed by five back blows.
Yep.
Whacking babies. But paramedics get to squish them before whacking them, so that’s good.
Ah, but even I learned THAT trick in first aid classes 25 years ago! You’re not so special!
Well, no, actually, you are pretty special. Paramedics are first-class bloody awesome folks, and I’d trust you with my life. Even the ones that just drove by my house (I live on an ambulance route, two blocks from the local Emergency Dep’t).
Oh, I’M not a paramedic. I’m training for EMT. But EMTs… aren’t allowed to have sharp objects. I mean, EMT scissors are the safety ones with no points, for instance.
Here’s what I’ve learned so far:
1. Don’t get hit by a truck or stabbed or trip on a cat or something when you’re on a call. If you get hurt, all you’ve done is VICTIMS = VICTIMS + 1 and RESCUERS = RESCUERS – 1.
2. As part of “don’t get hurt” — lift with your legs, not your back. An EMT is primarily a person who takes sick and ill people from where they are to places where people who can fix them are. If you can’t lift and move people, you’re not an EMT any more.
3. Wear gloves, and don’t get any of the patient on you. If it comes out of the patient, try not to get it on you; that’s gross and maybe you’ll have to be tested for hepatitis.
4. Air goes in and out, blood goes round and round. Plug up leaks. If too much blood is on the outside of the body, there isn’t enough for it to go round and round any more. Blood is only helpful when it’s inside, and “inside” means “inside the circulatory system.” “Outside the circulatory system but inside the brain, thorax, abdomen, etc” counts as “outside, but maybe worse.”
5. If you don’t know what it is, don’t poke it.
6. Write down everything. Every. Thing.
7. Ambulances handle like giant, top-heavy box trucks with terrible suspension, and are filled with delicate objects like EMTs and patients.. They like to roll over. However, statistically, rolling an ambulance is negatively correlated with patient outcome. So don’t do it.
the first thing in this video is a automated version of the throat vacuum they use at hospital that uses a burst of vacuum to pull items out of throats……
so if you just attach it to your child with a wireless close-able opening (so they can breath) and then modify it with a motor so that you can write a app to wirelessly close the breathing hole and activate the motor.
BAM……remote-controlled child-throat-pumper!
You mock it, but it works. Turns out chewing and swallowing solids are learned skills. Which means they must be practiced. Which means they can screw them up. Trust me, take the infant CPR training!!!!!
Twitter tells me there was a new strip like an hour ago. If that strip is supposed to show up here on the web site: Nope, it’s not. Not even with manual reload.
If you built your infant around one of those Siri home pods I’m pretty sure you could operate it with an iPhone app.
I think he built it the old-fashioned way – you know, producing half a genetic sketch and delegating the rest to a female human.
Yeah… the highest-trained pre-hospital personnel in the United States are paramedics, and I’ve been taking a class. The way paramedics rescue choking infants is … five two-fingered chest thrusts, followed by five back blows.
Yep.
Whacking babies. But paramedics get to squish them before whacking them, so that’s good.
Ah, but even I learned THAT trick in first aid classes 25 years ago! You’re not so special!
Well, no, actually, you are pretty special. Paramedics are first-class bloody awesome folks, and I’d trust you with my life. Even the ones that just drove by my house (I live on an ambulance route, two blocks from the local Emergency Dep’t).
Oh, I’M not a paramedic. I’m training for EMT. But EMTs… aren’t allowed to have sharp objects. I mean, EMT scissors are the safety ones with no points, for instance.
Here’s what I’ve learned so far:
1. Don’t get hit by a truck or stabbed or trip on a cat or something when you’re on a call. If you get hurt, all you’ve done is VICTIMS = VICTIMS + 1 and RESCUERS = RESCUERS – 1.
2. As part of “don’t get hurt” — lift with your legs, not your back. An EMT is primarily a person who takes sick and ill people from where they are to places where people who can fix them are. If you can’t lift and move people, you’re not an EMT any more.
3. Wear gloves, and don’t get any of the patient on you. If it comes out of the patient, try not to get it on you; that’s gross and maybe you’ll have to be tested for hepatitis.
4. Air goes in and out, blood goes round and round. Plug up leaks. If too much blood is on the outside of the body, there isn’t enough for it to go round and round any more. Blood is only helpful when it’s inside, and “inside” means “inside the circulatory system.” “Outside the circulatory system but inside the brain, thorax, abdomen, etc” counts as “outside, but maybe worse.”
5. If you don’t know what it is, don’t poke it.
6. Write down everything. Every. Thing.
7. Ambulances handle like giant, top-heavy box trucks with terrible suspension, and are filled with delicate objects like EMTs and patients.. They like to roll over. However, statistically, rolling an ambulance is negatively correlated with patient outcome. So don’t do it.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IZNAp5g-nPQ
the first thing in this video is a automated version of the throat vacuum they use at hospital that uses a burst of vacuum to pull items out of throats……
so if you just attach it to your child with a wireless close-able opening (so they can breath) and then modify it with a motor so that you can write a app to wirelessly close the breathing hole and activate the motor.
BAM……remote-controlled child-throat-pumper!
XD
You mock it, but it works. Turns out chewing and swallowing solids are learned skills. Which means they must be practiced. Which means they can screw them up. Trust me, take the infant CPR training!!!!!
Twitter tells me there was a new strip like an hour ago. If that strip is supposed to show up here on the web site: Nope, it’s not. Not even with manual reload.
Still no new strip for me either, after more than a day. Does your website suck again, Adam? Oh, I do hope not…