I mean, babies aren’t that bad as an investment you can sue people saying it’s theirs so you can remake your money and then some as well as hire someone to care for it with the money
You have to factor in a lot of things to realize the full investment potential… like number of years you can get chores out of them… plus the very few years they can come pick you up when you’ve had a few too many at the Holiday Cocktail Party… plus the number of years you can count on them to take care of you when you are old and pretty much just crying and pooping yourself. I recommend multiple investments though… because at least one of them is just gonna want to stick you in a old folks home.
It’s like a deal at the needful things store. You get a free Nintendo switch with every baby but the catch is you’ll never actually have time to play the switch. Muahahaha!!! I’m so tired
My daughter spent many an hour snuggling in my arms as I either killed aliens, dragons, or took over the world. My wife didn’t care, because it was break from holding the baby.
I took time off work and my wife and I shifted our sleep schedule for the first few months after our son was born. She would go to sleep at ten and wake up at 6 to take care of the baby while I stayed up until 4 and wake up at 10. That way I could do the feedings every2 hours and have time to game/bond with my son
“No one in their right mind would want something that only cries and poops. You would never pick one at the store no matter what the discount was”
… and yet, tamagotchis were such a hit at the time
FIRST!!!
I mean, babies aren’t that bad as an investment you can sue people saying it’s theirs so you can remake your money and then some as well as hire someone to care for it with the money
Who gives a flying f#%* that you’re first comment? Nobody. Nobody cares.
What’ya got there? Sour grapes!
You got a grip of sour grapes!
Oooh!
Those sour grapes!
You brought them sour grapes!
Sour grapes, sour grapes!
You got them SOUR GRAPES!
You know, I feel like that’s supposed to be to the tune of something, but I cannot for the life of me place it.
You have to factor in a lot of things to realize the full investment potential… like number of years you can get chores out of them… plus the very few years they can come pick you up when you’ve had a few too many at the Holiday Cocktail Party… plus the number of years you can count on them to take care of you when you are old and pretty much just crying and pooping yourself. I recommend multiple investments though… because at least one of them is just gonna want to stick you in a old folks home.
I’m totally cool with being put into a old folks home if I get video games.
My sentiments exactly!
In a couple decades retirement homes will need IT guys with a good understanding of emulation and/or adapting old consoles to fit 2030s displays.
… and to slow everything down to adapt it to old folks reaction time.
Never invested in one myself, but someone told me, “I wouldn’t take a million dollars for my kid… but I wouldn’t give a dime for another one.”
HA! I like that line.
It’s like a deal at the needful things store. You get a free Nintendo switch with every baby but the catch is you’ll never actually have time to play the switch. Muahahaha!!! I’m so tired
LOL! As someone working towards making one of my own, I’m also oh-so-scared.
I actually have some time to go play something on my PS4, but I’m scared that my wife would discover me and be annoyed I snuck away to play.
My daughter spent many an hour snuggling in my arms as I either killed aliens, dragons, or took over the world. My wife didn’t care, because it was break from holding the baby.
I took time off work and my wife and I shifted our sleep schedule for the first few months after our son was born. She would go to sleep at ten and wake up at 6 to take care of the baby while I stayed up until 4 and wake up at 10. That way I could do the feedings every2 hours and have time to game/bond with my son
Sooner or later Apple would release the iBaby which would still just cry & poop but would be internet connectable.
But the updates will do stuff like make your baby’s nose fall off or something.
Well, at least she won’t smell! Right? …Right?
I’ll show myself out.
You’ll also have to buy a million dongles and adaptors in order to connect the baby to your MacBook’s USB port.
“No one in their right mind would want something that only cries and poops. You would never pick one at the store no matter what the discount was”
… and yet, tamagotchis were such a hit at the time
Well, the poop wasn’t real and if you get tired of the crying you could always chuck it out the window.
You can do that with a real baby too, but you’re more likely to get in trouble with the law. Not to mention, your wife.
If you really want to get away with the crime paint a rock or get your wife a diamond ring of a significant carrot and chuck it out the window