Par for the Force
on November 30, 2016
at 12:00 am
I would happily give in to the Dark Side of the Force if it meant I could levitate my remote control off the coffee table instead of leaning forward to pick it up like some scruffy nerf herder.
Discussion (23) ¬
I will unashamedly admit to doing this as a kid. And now.
Also, the website description still says “Random nonsense 5 days a week”. Just fyi.
With all the things dark force disciples have to accomplish you won’t have time for any remote control.
‘Par for the Force’?
I wonder what Darth Vader would give for a better handicap.
Lost both arms, both legs, and had breathing problems.
Would a better handicap be fewer working parts or more?
I think he means “Handicap” as in golf terminology, since the title is PAR for the course.
I could be wrong though.
I thought I was the only one…
Oh good I thought it was just me who did that. Only I tend to do it 3 times a week when the door doesn’t close with enough force behind me. One of these days I’m hoping it will work and I won’t have to double back to close the door like the scruffy nerf herder I am.
My problem is that I don’t actually TRY. Because “do, or do not, there is not try.” I just do it.
And it doesn’t work. That’s SO disappointing. I mean, it SHOULD work. I’m pretty sure I’m doing it right. I convince myself that it WILL work; I remove all my doubts, and I just go ahead and will it, the way it’s supposed to work.
And then nothing happens. I’m still baffled by that.
This I do also.
I’m pretty boss with the force.
Every time I go to the grocery store I just wave my hand as I walk up to the doors and they slide open.
Every time.
I do that too. Do you use a single hand palm-forward motion or do you use both arms in a “Charleton Heston parting the Red Sea” motion?
Just a simple two finger swoosh.
I always tell people I’m going to use the force, then I hold my hand out, and act like I’m trying . . .
But in reality, I don’t use it because I don’t want them to get jealous, or start asking me to use it in their behalf. It’d be all, “Hey Jeff, can you Force Fix my car?” (No, the force doesn’t work that way, Bob)
“Hey Jeff, can you Force move my couch out to the curb? I’m getting a new one!” (Well, isn’t that special for YOU, Janet)
Nah, I just pretend I’m a scruffy nerf herder like everyone else . . .
only weekly? dude every five minutes im pretty much tryintg to kill people with my mind. Only had success once some guy stroked out right in front of me.
Yes, I do try it regularly. I also have dreams where I actually have telekinetic powers. Awesome and ever so slightly disappointing when I wake up and I can’t do it anymore :-/.
I can psychokinetically move my limbs. Sometimes more than one at a time.
Like those guys?
https://youtu.be/-DD2bR5oGyM
Well, I do NOW.
I really like the idea that while Luke and Anakin have these massive struggles whether to join the dark side or not, you (and I, admitted) would be happily joining the dark side just to get the remote.
It’s like Homer Simpson selling his soul to the devil for a donut – which I would also be tempted to do by the way..
Well that shows what an incredibly naive person you are. You should be asking for at least a dozen donuts or a lifetime supply of donuts in exchange for your soul.
Did you see that Simpsons episode?
Homer sells his soul, goes to hell and the devil force feeds hims a literal mountain of donuts as punishment – until eventually hell runs out of donuts and Homes still goes “Mmmm, dooonuts..”
My work computer logs me in with facial recognition, so whenever I sit down I frown in concentration, swipe my hand from left to right a la Obi Wan and his droids, and watch as my computer logs me in without touching anything. Freaks out my coworkers.