Wiccans? No man, you gotta sell the baby to the mysterious hooded figure that lurks in the derelict house outside of town. And by “sell” I mean “leave the baby with the figure then go home to find a pounce of unlabeled gold coins inexplicably left under your pillow”.
That’s what I do with all of my ugly babies.
Not a father here, but I’ve never actually seen a “cute” baby. Something about how they constantly oscillate between unbearably loud and unbearably sticky (with any number of disgusting substances simultaneously) outweighs any possible visual attraction.
I really like how people pawn off “adorable” newborn pictures like the best thing in the world; congrats, seriously, your baby looks exactly like every other baby ever – and as you say, almost every potato. At least potatoes are quiet and stationary and delicious.
She is your first borne, couldn’t you trade her for a pile of spun gold?
Also, trading or sell an infant only gets you money once. You should be looking for ways to monetize her theoretical ugliness on an ongoing basis. For example, you could rent her out to rich families who have babies with only so-so looks so their baby looks cute by comparison.
Go for the scroll, it’s cooler.
That’s probably the reason why nature makes everyone think their babies are cute 😉
Babies are cute so we don’t kill ’em.
If you multiclass with wizard you can transcribe the scroll and use the spell over and over. Once that healing potion is gone you’re screwed man.
Wiccans? No man, you gotta sell the baby to the mysterious hooded figure that lurks in the derelict house outside of town. And by “sell” I mean “leave the baby with the figure then go home to find a pounce of unlabeled gold coins inexplicably left under your pillow”.
That’s what I do with all of my ugly babies.
Do you think I should ask my parents where their wealth really came from?
From now on, whenever I walk through town and see an ugly person, I will wonder if they are one of my unknown siblings.
People with ugly babies lie to themselves and say that they aren’t ugly.
I think all babies look like gross piles of mashed potatoes in a burlap sack so… yeah.
Not a father here, but I’ve never actually seen a “cute” baby. Something about how they constantly oscillate between unbearably loud and unbearably sticky (with any number of disgusting substances simultaneously) outweighs any possible visual attraction.
I really like how people pawn off “adorable” newborn pictures like the best thing in the world; congrats, seriously, your baby looks exactly like every other baby ever – and as you say, almost every potato. At least potatoes are quiet and stationary and delicious.
Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.
No, really. The beautiful maiden is in the Beholder. We need that scroll.
Reminds me of Batman Returns and what Oswald Cobblepot’s parents did to him.
Pretty happy with the comic title aren’t you Adam? 😀
Our kid wasn’t ugly per se… but she had a pointed head… so she wore a pink cap for… oh, a year or so…
She is your first borne, couldn’t you trade her for a pile of spun gold?
Also, trading or sell an infant only gets you money once. You should be looking for ways to monetize her theoretical ugliness on an ongoing basis. For example, you could rent her out to rich families who have babies with only so-so looks so their baby looks cute by comparison.
I like this idea.