I have two sub-adults that could show her a trick or two…. why don’t I just send them over to you for the entire weekend? Personalized, in home training.
Doesn’t work, sadly. My wife has her third degree black belt in Tae Kwon Do and was working on her fourth, and told me that as the guy in our relationship, dealing with muggers is up to me. :-(. I always though that was a bit unfair, given that I’d watched her jump into the air and kick through boards on the fly. (Really)
(And then she had a totally unexpected stroke 14 months ago due to a rare medical condition, and now I push her around in a wheelchair. Life’s funny like that.)
That doesn’t sound funny at all. I’m sorry she went through that. Now you really don’t have any choice but to defend against the muggers yourself. Although I’m sure a wheelchair can be a dangerous weapon if used properly.
Does she read your comics? If yes, I think you were a bit too obvious here… 😉
I’m pretty sure the last one would be against any alignment but Chaotic Evil.
They show in movies that you can learn things by listening to tapes as you sleep.
Maybe you can play YouTubes of people karateing as she sleeps and she’ll osmosis it.
Or a montage. You can learn anything with a montage.
Oh gosh no, not the you tubes. You should defer to the master Bruce Lee and try and scrape up anything from the real shaolin monks
I have two sub-adults that could show her a trick or two…. why don’t I just send them over to you for the entire weekend? Personalized, in home training.
Doesn’t work, sadly. My wife has her third degree black belt in Tae Kwon Do and was working on her fourth, and told me that as the guy in our relationship, dealing with muggers is up to me. :-(. I always though that was a bit unfair, given that I’d watched her jump into the air and kick through boards on the fly. (Really)
(And then she had a totally unexpected stroke 14 months ago due to a rare medical condition, and now I push her around in a wheelchair. Life’s funny like that.)
That doesn’t sound funny at all. I’m sorry she went through that. Now you really don’t have any choice but to defend against the muggers yourself. Although I’m sure a wheelchair can be a dangerous weapon if used properly.
And she taught “fitness kickboxing for women”. Same thing. Sigh. Sometimes it sucks to be the dude.
Sweep the leg! Sweep the leg!
Just remember that when the mugger pulls out a scimitar, you have to pull out a much bugger scimitar. That usually works.
No it has to be a Smith & Wesson Hand Ejector Model 2 (HE2) from Bapty & Co. in London if anything at all.
Or… an enormous cartoon sledgehammer. Those ALWAYS work in the cartoons. 🙂
Have you tried that one episode of Family Guy when Lois learns martial arts and starts prizefighting in the front yard?